Wow. I haven't posted in this thing in a long assed time. I remember the heyday of LJ when dozens of people would write entire paragraphs in a days time.
As for me I'm still plugging along. I'm still an insurance agent. Still working on my business degree. Still living alone but hoping I'll find someone someday that can put up with my personality and pay half the bills.
Long week. It was my turn to work my once ever three weeks saturday shift. Went out afterwards for a beer downtown and saw a few people from work. Wondering why the drunkest guy at the gay bar always picks on my to hit on. If they were half-way sober they'd be cute, but as it is I prefer to drink my two Heinekens interspersed with lots of club soda so I don't get a D.U.I.
I haven't been out in forever thanks to Peter O'toole. I've been hiding. And I've been putting forward the "single and loving it" front despite the fact that I really would love some man to take care of me. I have to believe there's some reason why it feels like it's just me vs. the world with my single income and managerie of mental health isssues. I feel as I've aged I've become a stronger person for everything that's happened. And I know more about myself, and the more I'm comfortable in who I am, the less I care about what other people think. It can be a little loney sometimes, especially since I can't even have a cat under my lease. But I think about how this period is just a time where I need to rebuild my life. Someday I'll make more money, feel more secure, have my own house and my own garden and a man who loves me.
Mother's Day is tomorrow. Will buy mom a dozen roses on sale and a $25 bottle of Bordeux as she's been very good this year. I hope I go before she does, because no one else in my life takes my needs as a priority. I think it's because I'm the youngest.
I made the executive decision to increse my OCD dose as my Phsyciatrist is unable to return calls. The good news is my symptoms have lessened, but the bad news is 1 and 1 half tablets = I'm on speed, which is only so amusing to a certain point. Thank goodness I'm practicing counter-measures like Yoga, Guided Relaxation, and Red Wine.
The prospect of a new car this weekend should be a welcomed one. But it won't be anything other than one more stressful thing till I write the check and they hand me the keys.
I haven't really been writing much lately. Maybe I brood less these days.
My new job continues to go well; very well. I finally finished training about a week ago and spent my first week as a fully fledged agent. My scedule has turned out to be perfect for my "night person tendencies." I usually wake up around the crack of noon and watch a little CNN and wake up slow with endless cups of coffee and then head in, talk to sixty different insureds in the midatlatic states, and if I'm being good hit the gym in the basement after my shift ends. Usually I'm home by 2am, up for a couple of hours and then to bed so I can repeat the whole routine again. Work is very demanding, but my numbers are good and I'm rising to the challenge. And really I don't mind working so hard especially now that I have a living wage and great benefits. The corperate culture really agrees with me too.
Besides work I have other exciting news. I should have my own apartment in Downtown Fredericksburg next month. The landlord is my mother's friend and ever so nice. She owns a lot of rental properties in town and I'm to have the basement unit in an old brick house with lots of grace and charm. It's decidely unbasement like with half the unit being above ground so it surprisingly has good light. It has a decent sized living room, a larger dining room, a laundry/storage room, a charming kitchen and a cozy bedroom. At $650.00 with some utilities included it's a steal and just perfect for a bachelor like myself.
I'm eager to move as living with my parents has caused me some anxiety over the past months. Unfortunately "patience" must be my watchword for the moment. It's being updated since the previous tenant treated it unkindly. So I must wait on new drywall, windows, and a new kitchen to be installed. But it's something to look forward to. The aticipation is well worth it. It lends itself to the lifestyle I want; just one block from the college, a few blocks from the heart of downtown with all the shops and nightlife, and shopping just walking distance away too. It's very charming and I do plan to get out there and start socializing again. Living at home in my situation is just so not conducive to that now.
Last weekend I toured the place. My mom and I waited for a few minutes and scanned the nieghborhood until the landlady showed up driving her Mercedes and emerging with a measuring tape. I got the rundown of all the changes to the current place and all the "no's" as in "no smoking inside, no pets, no boyfriends moving in." It was nice though to actually picture someplace as belonging to me. Something I haven't known for a couple of years now. Just to walk around and think "ok the couch will go here, and in the hall I can put a small table, etc" was truely liberating. I can already feel my blood pressure going down. And I look forward to really exploring the downtown area and college now that I'll be so close to it.
I'm hopeful that the strife of the last couple of years is comming to and end. And I'm not shy to say, that I really feel like I deserve some contentment, security, and peace of mind.